'I... Don't... Knowwwww!' I spluttered through drowning gulps of air.
Improving My Entrepreneurial Mindset
I was getting nowhere in terms of advertising on my site, EVERY thing I tried to implement just had one million flaming hurdles I had to jump through before I got to the actual ads on my site part. I thought it was as simple as signing up, getting your code, copy, paste and voila! You start getting paid.
Not even a little of that happens smoothly....
I can't sign up for some reason.
I can't get the codes to show properly.
The 'embed code' widget decides to stop working on my site,
I then finally paste the code and then for some unknown reason it doesn't show on my site.
It then takes 2 weeks for the advertising channel to get back to me with...no answers.and that's only one company and only advertising...
After a miserable day at the markets I'd been left empty. I had nothing left to hold me up and it all came flooding out in disgustingly ugly body-shuddering tears.
'Honey, I know it's hard, but that's life! You'd be bored if it were easy'
Curtis has a great way of using my own words to bring me back down to earth and put everything in perspective.'I know! I don't want it easy! But how long do I keep trying and just keep getting shut down?'
I'd now been working on my blog for 18 months with no results.
'But what do you consider successful? Money? That's not success miki...'
'Again, I know! But my tears don't know that! 'There was literally nothing that was going to stop them. It was just time that they came out. All the late nights, swearing at my computer under my breathe and constant knock backs had built up to this aggressive waterfall.'Honey, you live in a $400,000 apartment, working on a $1000 laptop, whilst in an incredibly secure relationship, 2 cars in the garage and doing EXACTLY what you want to do. You do what you love everyday. I'd call that pretty successful, wouldn't you?'
The tears slowed but not without resistance. I was living a near perfect life. I had worked so hard for everything I had right in my palms. Why didn't I feel successful?
I started 2017 with a mission (and a half) to finally bring my blogging dreams to reality. No more dreaming, no more wishing, no more pixie dust, 3 clicks of my sparkly heels and waiting for a shooting star, only doing.
After my little session, I certainly felt better. I felt clearer, lighter and brighter. And it was that night I read Ryan Biddulphs blog '1 Quote That Will Create Blogging Miracles In Your Life'.
It's based on the quote:
“Thoughts increase by being given away. The more who believe in them the stronger they become. Everything is an idea. How, then, can giving and losing be associated?” ~ A Course in Miracles
It's a deep blog, which took me a few read throughs to really grasp every word. But every bit, I truely believe in. It was a grand in-depth reminder of why I started this. To spread love, support and knowledge from a place of love support and knowledge. To have love support and knowledge return to me. A constant precious, wonderful circle. Give out what you want back. Love and light. Energies attract other likely energies.
A few days later I signed up for yTravel's email series to help not make the major blogging mistakes that they did. FANTASTIC free series that I highly recommend signing up for. As I woke to the inspirational messages each morning, one particular quote stuck with me throughout my entire day...
"An Entrepreneur will work 80 hours a week to not work 40 hours a week"
I'm putting in all of this effort for myself. So that I can reach and exceed my dreams. So I can live the life I truely deserve. And one day, it will all pay off and be entirely worth it.
Reflecting on this melt down, it needed to happen for 2 reasons:
-For me to completely feel every emotion and fear that was subconsciously pulsing through me, to then release it all. Being left clear and free.
-This left only positive, stronger thoughts which have in turn pushed me even further to gain more.Don't be afraid of your fears and negative thoughts. Process and acknowledge them. Then let go. Move on, continuing forward.